Saying no without the apology

A way to practise direct refusals so other people's comfort stops steering your time.

Emma Grede's framework, from Start With Yourself, pp. 49 to 237.

Swap can't for won't
Say I won't or I don't want to instead of I can't, because can't invites people to push.
Practise on low stakes
Start with friends and small invitations, giving a straight no, thank you.
Drop the excuses
Do not justify, hem and haw, or apologise; you can still be polite and grateful.
Learn from a no you hear
Treat a no as information, ask questions and look for the lesson, then drop the defensiveness.

From chapter: Part Three: Old Thoughts, pp. 49–237

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