Ways to resolve disagreement between people who care deeply.
Will Guidara's framework, from Unreasonable Hospitality, pp. 129 to 143.
Do not go to bed angry
Talk through any frustration with a colleague before going home.
Find the third option
Swap sides if stuck, then look for a solution neither side would have come up with alone.
Concede the win
Let whoever cares more about the issue have their way, without overusing it.
Learn their tough-love language
Match the delivery of criticism to the person, without sarcasm, privately and without emotion.
From chapter: Chapter 12: Relationships Are Simple. Simple Is Hard., pp. 129–143
Daniel Humm loses the 2007 Rising Star Chef award to David Chang, and Guidara throws the first party for a loss, drinking the best bottles on the worst day. He then sets out ways to turn toward tension: do not go to bed angry, find a third option such as chargers with a useful unglazed circle, concede the win to whoever cares more, and learn each person’s tough-love language, including the time he screamed at Humm for throwing food at a cook. He gives a second chance to a captain caught drinking, amends the saying to hire slow, fire fast but not too fast, and builds traditions such as opening on Thanksgiving with a staff dinner and toasts.
