--- title: "Earning informality" description: "A way to keep warmth while meeting high-end expectations." canonical: https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/unreasonable-hospitality/earning-informality/ updated: 2026-11-03 --- # Earning informality > A way to keep warmth while meeting high-end expectations. Will Guidara's framework, from Unreasonable Hospitality, pp. 174 to 177. Framework 11 of 15 from [Unreasonable Hospitality](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/unreasonable-hospitality/index.md) by Will Guidara. Category: Leadership. ## The steps 1. **Start formal.** Amp up the formality at the beginning of the meal to meet expectations of a high-priced experience. 2. **Earn trust through the evening.** Let guests see competence and care before moving to a warmer style. 3. **Invite, do not force.** Make the shift something that happens for the guest, not to them. ## Where it comes from From chapter: Chapter 16: Earning Informality, pp. 174–177 The four-star review brings full dining rooms and a new problem: expectations shift and some staff start to take themselves too seriously. Guidara wants to keep the informality that earned the star while guests who have waited months and are paying more want ceremony, especially from a team averaging 26 years old. His answer is earning informality: more formality at the start of the meal, then trust built until guests will go along with a warmer style. Watching Tribeca Grill servers taught him that being present, caring so much about what you are doing that you stop caring about what you do next, beats being attentive. The 2010 World’s 50 Best nomination arrives. ## The animation 24 seconds, 4:5, no sound. - MP4: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/unreasonable-hospitality/earning-informality.mp4 - MP4, dark: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/unreasonable-hospitality/earning-informality-dark.mp4 - Still: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/unreasonable-hospitality/earning-informality.png - Still, dark: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/unreasonable-hospitality/earning-informality-dark.png