---
title: "The three life tasks"
description: "Adler's three categories of interpersonal relationship every person has to face to become self-reliant and live in harmony with society."
canonical: https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/the-courage-to-be-disliked/the-three-life-tasks/
updated: 2026-11-03
---

# The three life tasks

> Adler's three categories of interpersonal relationship every person has to face to become self-reliant and live in harmony with society.

Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga's framework, from The Courage To Be Disliked, pp. 57 to 113.

Framework 2 of 6 from [The Courage To Be Disliked](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/the-courage-to-be-disliked/index.md) by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. Category: Life and thinking.

## The steps

1. **Tasks of work.** Cooperate with others on work, the relationship with the lowest hurdle because it has a shared aim.
2. **Tasks of friendship.** Build relationships outside compulsion, judged by distance and depth rather than the number of friends.
3. **Tasks of love.** Handle the closest relationships, partners and family, without restricting or controlling the other person.

## Where it comes from

From chapter: THE SECOND NIGHT: ALL PROBLEMS ARE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS, pp. 57–113

## The animation

24 seconds, 4:5, no sound.

- MP4: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/the-courage-to-be-disliked/the-three-life-tasks.mp4
- MP4, dark: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/the-courage-to-be-disliked/the-three-life-tasks-dark.mp4
- Still: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/the-courage-to-be-disliked/the-three-life-tasks.png
- Still, dark: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/the-courage-to-be-disliked/the-three-life-tasks-dark.png