---
title: "My basic rules for success"
description: "Fourteen rules she credits for her own path."
canonical: https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/my-basic-rules-for-success/
updated: 2026-11-03
---

# My basic rules for success

> Fourteen rules she credits for her own path.

Emma Grede's framework, from Start With Yourself, pp. 238 to 243.

Framework 14 of 14 from [Start With Yourself](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/index.md) by Emma Grede. Category: Leadership.

## The steps

1. **Own your life.** Shift from blaming circumstances to taking complete responsibility.
2. **Work hard in your twenties.** Treat the decade as defining.
3. **Plan the details.** Include how, when, where and what, mostly focusing on how it should feel.
4. **Find a supportive partner.** Pick someone who is a real partner.
5. **Establish your career before babies.** Build the base first.
6. **Make selfish professional decisions.** Leave when the time is right for you.
7. **Leverage every job and contact.** Use each to do the next thing.
8. **Move away from people who don't serve you.** Create distance.
9. **Call BS, including on yourself.** Be honest.
10. **Fail up.** Step into jobs bigger than your experience.
11. **Get up after failing.** Learn each time.
12. **Use crisis.** Treat suffering as a chance for transformation.
13. **Put what you care about at the centre.** Do it without making it about marketing.
14. **Refuse to be afraid of anyone.** Then always start with yourself.

## Where it comes from

From chapter: Part Four: Action!, pp. 238–243

## The animation

24 seconds, 4:5, no sound.

- MP4: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/my-basic-rules-for-success.mp4
- MP4, dark: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/my-basic-rules-for-success-dark.mp4
- Still: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/my-basic-rules-for-success.png
- Still, dark: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/my-basic-rules-for-success-dark.png