---
title: "What can Start With Yourself teach creators?"
description: "Emma Grede's Start With Yourself in 14 frameworks with steps, and the four Tom Sharman lessons it backs."
canonical: https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/
updated: 2026-11-03
---

# Start With Yourself: A New Vision for Work & Life

> Emma Grede's Start With Yourself in 14 frameworks with steps, and the four Tom Sharman lessons it backs.

The frameworks here are Emma Grede's, from Start With Yourself. Claude read the book in Tom's Brain and linked it to his lessons.

## How Tom uses this

- [Turn down anyone unclear about their commitment](https://tomsharman.com/lessons/turn-down-anyone-unclear-about-their-commitment/index.md): Grede praises founders who arrive with options and specific questions and warns against those who ask her what to do or will not own the work. (p. 158)
- [Assumptions made too fast, and risk avoided](https://tomsharman.com/lessons/assumptions-made-too-fast-and-risk-avoided/index.md): She says risk is a requirement, that you decide then make the decision right, and that data plus gut and acting fast builds confidence. (pp. 65 and 143)
- [People online are selfish, so lead with what they get](https://tomsharman.com/lessons/people-online-are-selfish-so-lead-with-what-they-get/index.md): She says people buy once they feel understood, not for the founder's story or values, so lead with the customer's problem and benefit. (pp. 99, 176 and 231)
- [Move the people you have before you hire](https://tomsharman.com/lessons/move-the-people-you-have-before-you-hire/index.md): She hires for attitude over experience and moves people across functions so they understand the whole business. (pp. 118 and 119)

- Author: Emma Grede
- Pages: 290
- Chapters: 14
- Frameworks: 14
- Categories: Systems and operations, Offers and pricing, Life and thinking, Leadership, Personal brand, Content and packaging, Exits, Hiring and teams
- Book 40 of 46 on the bookshelf: https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/index.md

## What it argues

Grede argues that success starts with taking complete responsibility for yourself, and that the thinking behind your actions counts for more than any playbook. She sets out a sequence: write a concrete vision, learn to manage anger, fear, guilt, sadness and joy, replace a set of cultural Old Thoughts with new ones, and then act quickly. The Old Thoughts cover trade-offs, money, career, family, building a business and leadership, and each is answered from her own record, from the agency she sold to Good American and SKIMS. The business thread is practical: bootstrap, take cash off the table, get product and price right before marketing, take shortcuts, study competitors and treat business as transactional. The leadership thread is an enterprise mentality, three shared priorities, honest feedback and a team run as a team, with loyalty to the vision. She closes with three East London operating principles and fourteen basic rules for success.

## Worth keeping

- Product and price come before marketing; marketing is the last thing (p. 177), and spending more on marketing cannot fix a leaky core business (p. 174).
- You get what you negotiate: ask for more, state the ask and stop, never take the first offer, and build leverage (pp. 84, 90-91).
- Make decisions and then make them right; delegate small details and use goals plus vibe to decide (pp. 63-67).
- Business is transactional: say the transactional part out loud, and cut people in the minute someone makes money from your request (pp. 192-195).
- Bootstrap and start small, take cash off the table, and treat a brand's relevancy curve as finite (pp. 142-151).
- Hire people better than you and hold only three priorities (pp. 203-209), because leverage comes from empowering talent.
- Run the company as a team with loyalty to the vision, and be consistent and honest over being likable (pp. 213-221).
- Train your team to replace you or you are building a vanity project (p. 239).
- Study competitors obsessively; the 1 percent details compound (pp. 183-187).
- A review of your year in five questions, plus a decade vision statement reread every Sunday (pp. 19-21).

## The questions it answers

### How do you build a personal brand that generates inbound rather than requiring outbound?

She says her profile came after the work, networking and events do not build businesses, and mentorship happens through books and podcasts (pp. 189-191).

### How do you price and sell a tool you built for yourself?

She says product and price come before marketing, price by understanding how the customer feels about parting with money, and charge for the value you create (pp. 172-173, 194-195).

### What is the smallest team that can produce at the volume I am used to?

She prefers a team of three of the best over thirty and wants to build things in a room with five people (pp. 207, 240).

## The frameworks

1. [Yearly Process](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/yearly-process/index.md): A five question review done on a birthday or new year to ground a written vision for the year ahead.
2. [Saying no without the apology](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/saying-no-without-the-apology/index.md): A way to practise direct refusals so other people's comfort stops steering your time.
3. [Annual family and trade-off questions](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/annual-family-and-trade-off-questions/index.md): Questions asked at planning time so trade-offs are chosen in advance and reassessed every few months.
4. [Money requests](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/money-requests/index.md): Eight requests for getting comfortable with money, taken from the case against nice girls not discussing it.
5. [Basic negotiation](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/basic-negotiation/index.md): Three rules for asking for more, backed by Mellody Hobson's advice to ask questions rather than overstate your worth.
6. [Transition on the way up](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/transition-on-the-way-up/index.md): A way to extend a brand's relevancy curve by changing everything except its core principles.
7. [Fixing limbo land](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/fixing-limbo-land/index.md): A check for a business that has plateaued, such as one stuck under $500,000 in revenue.
8. [Zones of work](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/zones-of-work/index.md): The Hendricks zones, used to decide what to do yourself and what to hand off.
9. [Daily learning habit](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/daily-learning-habit/index.md): A fifteen to thirty minute daily practice to stay in learning mode.
10. [Leadership philosophy](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/leadership-philosophy/index.md): Seven tenets Grede uses to run her companies.
11. [Three priorities rule](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/three-priorities-rule/index.md): A way to keep a growing company aligned on a few things.
12. [Blank page review for a new venture](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/blank-page-review-for-a-new-venture/index.md): Questions answered on a blank page before starting a new endeavour.
13. [Three operating principles](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/three-operating-principles/index.md): The basic East London operating manual that guides her actions.
14. [My basic rules for success](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/my-basic-rules-for-success/index.md): Fourteen rules she credits for her own path.

## Working with Tom on this

Tom works with creators and founders one to one, from a single session to a fractional role. [Work with Tom](https://tomsharman.com/consulting/)