---
title: "Basic negotiation"
description: "Three rules for asking for more, backed by Mellody Hobson's advice to ask questions rather than overstate your worth."
canonical: https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/basic-negotiation/
updated: 2026-11-03
---

# Basic negotiation

> Three rules for asking for more, backed by Mellody Hobson's advice to ask questions rather than overstate your worth.

Emma Grede's framework, from Start With Yourself, pp. 49 to 237.

Framework 5 of 14 from [Start With Yourself](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/index.md) by Emma Grede. Category: Offers and pricing.

## The steps

1. **Start from the assumption you are underpaid.** You are almost certainly paid less than you are worth, so ask for more.
2. **State the ask and stop.** Do not overexplain, and leave space for silence.
3. **Never take the first offer.** Always negotiate, so a fast yes never means you were overpaid.
4. **Build leverage.** Create a competing offer, runway, an independent route or a firm belief in your value so you can walk away.

## Where it comes from

From chapter: Part Three: Old Thoughts, pp. 49–237

## The animation

24 seconds, 4:5, no sound.

- MP4: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/basic-negotiation.mp4
- MP4, dark: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/basic-negotiation-dark.mp4
- Still: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/basic-negotiation.png
- Still, dark: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/start-with-yourself/basic-negotiation-dark.png