---
title: "Labeling and accusation audit"
description: "Name emotions and say the worst accusations before they do."
canonical: https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/never-split-the-difference/labeling-and-accusation-audit/
updated: 2026-11-03
---

# Labeling and accusation audit

> Name emotions and say the worst accusations before they do.

Chris Voss's framework, from Never Split the Difference, pp. 44 to 63.

Framework 2 of 9 from [Never Split the Difference](https://tomsharman.com/bookshelf/never-split-the-difference/index.md) by Chris Voss. Category: Sales and negotiation.

## The steps

1. **Detect.** Words, music and dance.
2. **Label.** 'It seems like...'.
3. **Silence.** Let them respond.
4. **Audit.** List and say the accusations first.

## Where it comes from

From chapter: CHAPTER 3 | DON’T FEEL THEIR PAIN, LABEL IT, pp. 44–63

Using a six hour doorway negotiation in a Harlem high-rise, Voss defines tactical empathy as recognising the other side's perspective and saying it aloud, without agreeing with it. Labeling gives a name to an emotion, starts with phrases such as 'It seems like', and is followed by silence, which defuses negatives and reinforces positives. The accusation audit lists every terrible thing the counterpart might say about you and says it first. Case studies include a Redskins ticket call script, a Girl Scouts donor and a contractor who recovered $1 million.

## The animation

24 seconds, 4:5, no sound.

- MP4: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/never-split-the-difference/labeling-and-accusation-audit.mp4
- MP4, dark: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/never-split-the-difference/labeling-and-accusation-audit-dark.mp4
- Still: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/never-split-the-difference/labeling-and-accusation-audit.png
- Still, dark: https://tomsharman-downloads-006143767029.s3.eu-north-1.amazonaws.com/downloads/bookshelf/never-split-the-difference/labeling-and-accusation-audit-dark.png